Why am I always so nostalgic?

Back when people listened to the radio, you kept a tape handy in your boombox at all times so you could capture the hot new hits of the week. The intro would always get cut off, and the DJ would chatter over the end. You also ended up with static, commercials, and jingles, but all that noise just added to the field-recording verisimilitude. The radio tape puts you right back in the original time and place when you first heard the songs. You are there, my friend.   

 from Love is a Mix Tape by Rob Sheffield

I may not be that old, but I get to remember the time when I did this. I may not be that much of an expert in music, but I will always remember a specific point in time when I did this. The memory I have is always associated with my cousin. It was one afternoon when I was like 11 or 12. We were chatting and then this song played and I just had to press record in the cassette player my cousins had in their room.

I try not to be as sentimental as I possibly could, but from that moment on, for some weird reason, I've always felt that this was our song, my cousin and I. Yes, there's the Coyote Ugly soundtrack, too, but this was my song to her. We were young (she was a couple of years older, but still young), and we had our whole lives in front of us. I've always known that we will be together for as long as we possibly can, despite having disagreements and shit thrown in our way.

Now, my cousin is getting married and I am taken back to the time when we were young and we were still neighbors, seeing each other everyday. I really miss how she would fuss about boys while I also do the same, although I now refuse to remember who the boys I fussed about back then. She would also tell me about how some bitches from church (we have to admit there are tons of those in every congregation) are trying to ruin her life (an exaggeration, but we were teenagers - okay I was a tween - so it's just a normal description of things). It's a fucking cliche, but things were really simple back then. And now she's getting married.

As expected (and demanded, mostly, by me), I'll be her maid of honor. I don't want to get all mushy and shit, but I do kind of miss her already. I've seen it before, once you get married, you're all to your new family. And since she'll most likely move to Singapore after the wedding, I won't be able to demand shit from her as easily as I can before and now.

Of course, I'm happy for her. There's no doubt about that. I could even dare to say that next to her, I am the happiest about this turn of events. She has been looking for the right guy since she was, what, fifteen? She has been out there dating for as long as I can remember, so I am exceptionally happy about her finding a great guy. But I also can't help to be sad, thinking that things will change for good after her big day on December.


So, I guess I just have to make the most of it. I will have to plan a night in and maybe watch Coyote Ugly with her one last time before the wedding.